Like many people, I get about a dozen emails a day bearing news good and bad. The bad is that my penis is too small, too soft and lacking the endurance to satisfy a fruit fly. The good is I can build a longer, stronger and everlasting erection for a few hundred dollars — by taking miracle pills.

Example: "Get ready to be stopped by women in the street. Your entire image will emanate increased size! This is what you always needed to lead a happier, more fulfilling life."

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Dirty Threesome with Lindsay Layne & her Boyfriend
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